It feels like it's all falling apart..when in reality, it's all coming together..

Last night as I was laying in bed I realized that I probably only have 30 or so nights left in that bed before I have to start sleeping in my dorm...in Chicago.

I hyperventilated.

Yes.

You bet I did.

A million thoughts hit me all at once.

"I'm not ready to leave home and go to college!"----"Oh grow up, Jessica. People do it everyday."

"How am I supposed to pay for all the expenses on my own?"---"Jessica, you know God will take care of that part of things."

"How on earth am I supposed to adjust to living in Chicago?!"---"Jessica, you know that's where God has placed you. He will help you."

"I'm going to miss out on my sister's teenage years..that's not fair to her. She needs me."---"Jessica, it's part of life. You won't miss that much. You'll still be close to her."

"What if someone in my family gets sick and I can't be here?!"---"Jessica, that's part of growing up and becoming an adult. You can't stay at home forever."

"What about my mom and dad? I'm ripping their hearts out!"---"Jessica, when you were born they knew they'd have to let go eventually."

"I think I'm going to be sick."---"Jessica, just calm down. God's in control."

Now, I don't think my thoughts were quite that...eloquent..or organized, but you get what happened.

I felt like I was falling apart.

So, what did I do? Started praying.

I asked God to prepare me for all of the changes I'm going to have to face. Changes...I don't want to see come. I asked Him for His protection. (Chicago! HELLO?!) I asked Him for His wisdom and strength to make it through those first few weeks there. And most of all I prayed for His peace to come and comfort me and let me know that it's going to be okay. :)

And guess what? Prayer works.

With His peace, I can confidently say that even though it feels like it's all falling apart right now, it's just God's plans for my life all coming together. :)